Monday, September 27, 2010

metamorphosis / in the "mean" time

indeed this has been a strange summer (now fall)... and it has taken me about that much time to understand why. like a caterpillar in cocoon - i have found myself smack dab in the middle of transition - change - and some days, purgatory.
basically it comes down to the fact that i got married, completed my first book illustration commission, and bought a house in portland, oregon... all exciting and positive stuff, but for a sensitive introspective this means lots of time has been spent brooding over the implications of it all, questioning, reasoning, and brooding some more in a state of despondency... oh yeah, and all that "stuff" i've achieved took a fair share of time and energy as well. before you peace out on my pity party, let me just say - i fully know that i am being weird. also, i fully know that i do the tortured artist bit quite well.
so here i am: physically in upstate new york, with the good half of my brain in portland, a quarter of it brooding in my syracuse living room, and the other quarter? well i lost it a while ago, hopefully it turns up when packing.
frank o'hara sums up my sentiment perfectly with:
"I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again,
and interesting,
and modern."

{e.cohh hoelzer, 2006 "lost & found" - a piece i made in college with the pictures i took: west coast of the left and the east coast on the right}
so i guess this is my apologia of sorts explaining why i have been the worst blogger ever. but i'm not apologizing - i've just been dealing with things and haven't felt the urge to blog. sorta sad, but i have to stop being hard on myself at some point. why not start here?
it looks like i'll be stuck in transition-land for the next 2 months until i get to finally inhabit said portland home. in the meantime i'll be taking the next 2 weeks to gallivant through the adirondacks and white mountain range. because: my soul needs nature, like whoa.
after that, major home repairs from afar, move prep and wrapping up a website...yeah, i've decided to start taking my art and myself more seriously...but not too seriously, after all that leads to more brooding....

thanks for bearing with me (all 22 of you) ha!


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